The human mind is an infinite and unexplored mausoleum of secrets. You don’t know yourself that deep, yet, you know your partner. Luckily, psychologist have developed a set of patterns to reveal some of the most hidden parts of ourselves.
All relationships have their ups and downs, and all partners have their doubts among themselves. Yet more, studies show that 62^ of men and 34% of all the women secretly look at their partner’s phones.
And the reasons for occasional snooping their partner’s social lives on the phones are far more psychological than simple jealousy…
1. Trust issues
As they say, experiences shape a person, and your partner obviously has had problems with cheating and lying in the past relationships. Though you might not be doing anything wrong or misbehaving, your partner can simply not change the behavioral pattern past relationships have seeded into him. He is slightly-paranoid and you need to discuss this in four eyes. Let your partner know your intentions.
2. Not satisfied with your relationship
A healthy and strong relationship is based on trust and mutual giving and sharing. If a problem occurs, strong partners talk about it. However, if one of you feels the urge to snoop the phone of the partner, clearly, something is wrong and they’re looking for a reason, because they might think not everything is said and clear. Having different perspectives in life, doubts about certain people in the surrounding and other hesitations can be the reason for this.
3. Low self-esteem
Though your relationship is perfect, you’re both doing everything right, your partner’s struggles with low self-esteem might be the reason he’s self-sabotaging the nice thing you have. Your partner is not even aware of the fact they’re struggling with low self esteem and think they’re just not enough or good enough for you. They might even believe that you deserve someone better than them.
4. Problems with healthy boundaries
If you put boundaries for yourself, like no more bread, cut with the sweets…then, the same thing has to happen for a relationship to work. Even in a family, among blood relatives, boundaries are set! However, if your partner is often snooping your phone or PC, they might have a problem with boundaries.
Of course that most of the things are shared among partners in a relationship, however, there are some things said among friends that just need to stay secret. You, or your friends might feel uncomfortable if they’re revealed. This is breaking of personal trust and violation of your thoughts.
5. Afraid of open talks
Your partner might really love you and be afraid to lose you if he has open talk about a certain topic he sees you’re not agreeing on. That’s another reason why he’s scooping on your phone – to gather more relevant information about the subject.
6. In need of attention
It is very easy to misbehave and interrupt the intimacy in a relationship with the majority of tasks and the electronic devices that constantly take away our attention.
You might have had a really social life lately, going out constantly, hanging with friends, watching movies and theatre, that you just forgot about your relationship and haven’t really talked and payed attention to yourselves. That might bother your partner and he’s just looking for attention or a reason why you’re not giving it to him.
7. Your partner might be thinking of cheating on you
You know what they say, “I am not what you think I am, you are what you think I am”. Well, that’s exactly the point in this case. If your partner is looking for some secret conversations or doubtful people in your phone, it might be because he’s the one doing or thinking to do exactly the same thing. His unusual behavior is a mirror manifestation of themselves.
8. Not ready for a serious relationship
Last but not least, the most terrifying reason for snooping – indetermination to spend the time with you and dedicate to your relationship. The common problem here is obviously immaturity.